This picture was taken in the beginning of August of 2016. I had started getting into running, was working at an awesome company that offered me great work / life balance and was at my lowest weight in my adult life. I was 1 year post op (gastric bypass) and was in my weight loss honeymoon stage. I was in great health physically, strong and confident however stuck in emotional turmoil as this was the very beginning stage of my KEFI Fit™ journey. I was representing another fitness brand at the time that didn’t reflect me in any way, I felt exhausted, pressured and suffocated trying to be someone who I wasn’t in order to make my “dance fitness boss” happy. I look back at this photo and see a woman with a vision but trapped between authenticity, image and people pleasing. I also see determination and hunger. What was an idea I flirted with, became a reality that blew up into a magical program (KEFI Fit™) that has been embraced by thousands of people and given me purpose and joy in my life. Had I known then that months after I snapped this sweaty post run selfie I would be embarking on a journey of a lifetime, creating a business from my heart and soul and throw it out there into the world the way I did, perhaps my smile would have been a bit bigger!
New endeavors are supposed to scare the shit out of you. If your dreams don’t scare you, then they’re not big enough. If you’re not worried and rattled and unsure and uneasy during the process then it’s not for you. The most memorable moments in life embark from a place of fear. I started running not sure I would be able to finish a kilometer yet I did, not because I’m exceptional or extraordinary. I did it because I’m not afraid of failure. I have failed at many things in my life and with each set back I’ve learned to come back stronger than ever. Why not? What would be the alternative? I don’t fear many things anymore, but I can never live my life wondering “what if”. I will always have the answer to that. I either succeed, or I don’t and it will never be out of lack of trying.
This picture showed up in my phone at the perfect time in my life, years later it was taken. I needed to see this nervous version of myself, wide eyed and determined. She reminds me of the things I’m capable of doing if I simply run towards whatever it is I want. Just run, fast or slow, short or long … just run. Feel that fear, face it, let it fuel you and then outrun it. You think you can’t but I assure you, you can.